Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Jokes of the day...

(1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into
stone.---A part of me is getting hard already!
(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A Malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....Barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !  
(3) HOW
INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how
India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his
country and his mistress ask him
'In Dear?'...
(4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get
fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts &
1 tea-spoon of starch!
(5) ARAB MAN
An Arab man was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name please'?
'Abdul Aziz '
'Sex? '
'Six times a week!! '
'No, no, I mean male or female! '
'Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !'
(6) SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service and sometimes you have to
be satisfied with self-service'
(7) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy and...
Wife on the cover of 'missing persons'
(8) SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
(9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Because its the only profession where u can tell a woman to
take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
(10) DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: 'It's so painful, I'll rather have a
baby than have a tooth removed.'
Dentist: 'Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly.'
(11) VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A
VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: ' RETURNED UNOPENED '
(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Because she didn't know anything and he had forgotten everything.
Have A NiCe Day!

4 comments:

Rob said...

Hi. I'm disabled and I've got this thing growing on my neck. I owe a lot of money and I'm in pain every day. The last time my son took me to the doctor(for this thing growing on my neck), I asked him what the secret of happiness was.
He seemed happy, after all. Plus his undergrad degree came with a GPA that made my 3.8 look like a nice try, but no cigar. Now he’s in graduate school, even. He has friends. And he can drive.
He told me.
“Retorts, dad. Always have some good retorts ready. Make a list of 'em and carry it with you when you go to the doctor for that thing growing on your neck. Then whip out the list and talk with everyone in the waiting room. Using those retorts could be your hobby. You could polish them up, add new ones. It’ll make you feel great. At night, when your sitting alone with your lite beer and twinkies, you’ll say to yourself, “Here’s another thing I could have told the fat guy with six fingers.””
He went on like that until we got to the doctor.
I'm still paying for his education.

Iver Olsen said...

Thanks. You made my day.

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Techbee said...

I'm still paying for his education...
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